1.Good news
Raabert:Boos,ek good news mein baap bangeya.Un teenonka kya naam rakoon Boooss.

Ajit:pehala ka peter,doosre ka mungle aur teesre ka chin choo miyanese.

Robert:Yeh teesra ka naam chineese kyon Boooss.

Ajit:sunha hai ki har teesra bacha chineese hai.

2.Phone Call
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, 'I think you're wanted on the phone, sir.'
'What do you mean, you think?' demanded the boss.
'Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said 'Is that you, you old fool?'' explained the boy.

3.Secretary and PS
Q. Whatz the difference between a secretary and a personal secretary?
Ans. The secretary sayz 'Goodmorning Sir!' The personal secretary sayz 'Its MORNIN LUV!'

4.Photo copies
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'
'Just use copier machine paper,' she told him.
With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

5.Great Interview..
A man goes to get a job as a secretary. When the manager saw his yellow and red highlighted hair, his mind was screaming,'No, not this guy.'
Nevertheless, he had to entertain his guest.
Manager: Okay, I will give you some words. Make a sentence with them and the job is yours. The words are green, pink, yellow, blue, white, purple and black.
The man thought for a while and said:-
' The phone was ringing GREEN GREEN GREEN. I go and I PINK up the phone. I say YELLOW...BLUE's that. WHITE did you call? Aye... wrong number. Listen don't PURPLEly call wrong numbers and don't call BLACK.
The manager fainted.

6.Take Rest...
Manager: Raju! You was discharged from the Hospital yestarday only; Why do you come office today itself?
Raju: Doctor told that Take rest for a month; That's why I came to the office.

7.Drunk?
Drinking A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, 'I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk.'
Our wasted friend asked, 'Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?'
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure,' said the copper. 'Let's go.'
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, 'Thank goodness, I thought I was a cripple.'

8.Last night
One night, a guy walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Then he asked for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender got worried. 'What's the matter?' the bartender asked. 'My wife and I got into a fight,' explained the guy, 'and she vowed not to talk to me for 31 days.? He took another drink, and said, ?And tonight is the last night.'

9.Sooner or latter
There were three men at a bar. One of them got drunk & started a fight with other two. The police came & took the drunk guy to jail. The next day man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, 'Where do u work?' the man said, 'Here & there.' the judge asked the man, 'What do u do for a living?' the man said, 'this and that.' The judge then said, 'take him away.' the man said, 'Wait, judge, when will I get out.' the judge said to the man, 'sooner or latter.'

10.Sun or Moon
Two drunks met and one said to the other,'Is that the sun or the moon up there'?

'I dont know,' replied the other,' I don't live around here.'

11.Wife and Wine...
One night, a guy walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Then he asked for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender got worried.
'What's the matter?' the bartender asked.
'My wife and I got into a fight,' explained the guy, 'and she vowed not to talk to me for 31 days . . .'
He took another drink, and said, 'And tonight is the last night.'

12.Woof............
A guy walks into a bar, asks the bartender, 'how do you make a cat sound like a dog?' Bartender asks 'how?'

'Grab it's tail, pour gas on it, light it and wait for the WOOF!'

13.Normal wife
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

14.Baby Talk
A baby girl turns to a baby boy and says, 'I'm a girl.'
The boy says, 'How do you know?'
The girl says, 'I heard my mom say I'm a girl.'
'I'm a boy,' says the boy.
'How do you know?' the girl asks.
'Just look!' the boy says, as he throws off his robe, 'See? Blue booties!'

15.Can I speak ?
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
'May I speak to your parents?'
'They're busy.'
'Oh. Is anybody else there?'
'The police.'
'Can I speak to them?'
'They're busy.'
'Oh. Is anybody else there?'
'The firemen.'
'Can I speak to them?'
'They're busy.'
'So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?'
'Looking for me.'

16.Duck Eggs
At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy's ear.

'There!' he said proudly. 'I bet your Mum can't produce eggs without hens, can she?'

'Oh yes, she can,' said the boy. 'She keeps ducks.'

17.Eat bananas
Mother : 'Eat bananas with milk, it will add colour to your face'
Daughter : 'But who wants yellow cheeks or a white face'.

18.It's mummy!
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly,there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.

19.Loan please mom!
One day a kid came running to his mother and asked,' mother, what is my value in terms of money to you ?'
Mother got surprised and said after a moment, 'its not be less than $100 billion.'
Listening to this the kid asked her, 'will you please give me $1 from THAT ACCOUNT as a loan so that I can buy a CHOCOBAR?'

20.But, mom........
Son : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he

told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mum : Well, you have done the right thing.

Son : But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Funny Jokes continue>>